Be nice to people because you never know where they’ll be one day

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Despite having a strong aversion for grunt work, Marius was an agreeable fellow to work with.  He was fair-skinned, tall and verging on lanky. Also, unlike most of us in sub Director-level positions, he was already married and had a young child.

Marius had just joined the team a month ago and was the most junior member within our Managing Director’s bitch slap’s reach. His hair was brushed the same exact way at all times and he always carried a can of San Pellegrino Orange sparkling drink. Always. Even if empty he’d carry a can with him or leave it on the table for everyone to know it was his signature beverage. Every time he spoke of taking a holiday or wishing to be somewhere warm and sunny there was always a can of San Pellegrino Orange in the picture. “I can’t wait to go to Marbella in the summer, lie on the beach, read a nice book and sip on a fresh can of San Pellegrino….”. It was more than just a drink. It was a way life. It meant…correction, was suppose give others the impression that…you were the type of person who went on holiday in the Amalfi Coast and knew the owner of the best clifftop pizzeria around.

A strange obsession with news

Marius hailed from the Baltics and at least one screen on his desk invariably displayed political news from his home region. The guy was obsessed with politics, especially if it had ‘controversy’ written all over it. And if he was in the middle of reading an article he was as good as dead to the team. Utterly useless. A shame, really, as he was a very intelligent person.

When things got real busy around the desk and phones lines went ringing off the hook, it was common to yell out “Help” or “Line” if you wanted someone to pick up your line. Sometimes you had no choice. A stroke-inducing deadline was near and a Managing Director was looking at you as if you were shark bait; or, you were already on two simultaneous calls – one with your headset and another your mobile – and couldn’t take another.  And good ol’ Marius loved calling for help.

Because I sat real close to him – directly behind him – I often answered his call in times of need. Generally, if someone’s line rings a few times unanswered you look in the recipient’s direction to see if she or he is there. Makes sense. It’s a natural reaction. In the case of an incoming call for Marius, it only took me a few degrees turn of the neck for me to check out what he was up to.

The Baltic Academic

Nearly every time Marius called for help he was reading news. None of it having to do with one of the many projects that were a priority for the team, or news about the markets for that matter. All 100% personal leisure. Soon enough all of us knew this. It got to a point where he was given the nickname the “Baltic Academic” because we assumed he was amassing PhD-level knowledge of Baltic politics.

To make matters worse, and as I alluded to earlier he detested grunt work, such as updating graphs, creating league tables, etc.  To the point where he refused to do it. In reality everyone does a bit of grunt work, even senior guys. You can’t expect to have all of it outsourced.

And to make matters even worse, he rarely ate at his desk. The situation around our desk could be manic and highly pressurised and yet I’d catch him sitting alone in the cafeteria eating his lunch as if he were at a Michelin-starred restaurant savouring each bite.

Tick tock…

We all knew his days were numbered and therefore most people didn’t give him the time of day. On the one hand I felt bad for him because I knew his former team and division was fairly relaxed and ours was a complete change of pace. On the other, it pissed me off as he had to adapt but didn’t seem to care so much. His performance directly affected all of us. And layoffs were prevalent those days.

In any event, I still took time to chat with him and to get to know him on a personal level. This went on for months. Then one Tuesday he came in to work unusually late and wearing jeans. A major faux pas.

“Dude, what the f@ck are you wearing? You’re four hours late and missed all the PROJECT XYZ calls,” I said to him. “Everyone has been asking about you.”

Sporting a cool smile and an expression which clearly stated there was no need to worry, Marius just smiled. “Step out with me. I’ve got something to tell you.”

I knew then and there that something had changed. Irrespective of his past behaviour I knew he cared for the job – he had a family after all.  But the look on his face now said otherwise.

As he walked past our Managing Director – the same guy who had asked us where Marius was on several occasions that morning – Marius tapped on the senior banker’s shoulder, said “Hi” and kept walking.

“Where have you been,” cried out the Managing Director, clearly irritated.

“I’ll be back shortly. Let’s chat later,” said Marius, not even bothering to turn around and look the MD in the face.

I didn’t have the courage to look at the MD lest I burst out laughing.

It’s political baby!

We walk over to a cafe nearby, order a latte and espresso. Marius insists on paying. We make our way to the seating area and find an open table right next to a suspicious-looking couple which I recognize quickly. A Spanish M&A banker and a Moroccan sales girl. They were rumoured to have been seeing one another.  Anyway…

I sit down, throw a sugar cube into my espresso shot and look up at Marius. “Okay, what’s going on? Cause you’re definitely getting fired the next round of layoffs, if not sooner. I can’t even believe you did that upstairs with the MD.”

Marius took a long, slow sip of his latte. “This, my friend, is arguably the best latte I’ve had in years.”

“Marius. What’s going on?”
“I’ve been asked to become the economic adviser to the Prime Minister of [Baltic country].”

My surprise at his revelation leads to a big smile.

“I’m resigning today and flying out next week to start my post. I’ll be coming back to the bank, but not to manipulate Excel spreadsheets. To negotiate transactions with senior management.”

That was unexpected. I’m taken aback. Great surprise.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to invite you to those meetings,” he said with a wink.

NOTE TO READERS!!!

Dear readers, though the stories within the blog are inspired by personal experience, they are written in a way so as to entertain. The above story, in particular, is meant to be humorous. The qualities and characteristics of the central character in this blog post, Marius, are not those of any one particular person in the real world.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

hdwon February 9, 2012 at 3:55 am

Haha, crazy story. Any chance you could offer your thoughts on the future of graduates just about to enter the industry? Is there hope?

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The ibanker February 9, 2012 at 6:14 am

Hiya,

Thanks for the comment.

Future of graduates in the industry? Not sure in what respect you mean. All I can say is that…personally…I think it’s a great industry to learn and flourish in. It’s undergoing great change but a great move for people who want a fully immersive experience in finance. There are many useful / transferable skills to be gained.

If you mean the outlook for graduates vis-a-vis job stability that’s a whole other ball park. Given what’s going around the world, and Europe in general, I’d sit tight and buckle myself into my seat and give it 110% cause it may get even more shaky in the sector.

There is always plenty of hope :)

Tib

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Anon February 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

At a Y1 M&A Analyst at a London IB, I find this to be a brilliant blog. Please keep writing!

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The ibanker February 9, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Many thanks! Will try to write regularly.
Good luck surviing M&A!

Tib

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Anon February 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Thanks, and if you want any input, just say the word and i’ll be in touch.

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Zaliakalnis February 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Hey boss, I guess he was from Lithuania? Tried to google the guy – couldn’t find s**t… Any chance you could tell me when did that happen?

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The ibanker February 17, 2012 at 5:01 am

Hello,

You have to keep in mind that everything including names, geographies, titles, a person’s gender, etc. can be changed if necessary to protect the innocent – in the words of the Epicurean Dealmaker.

As for timing, I cannot say…I am bound by confidentiality :)

Many thanks,

TiB

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Ankit March 22, 2012 at 2:20 am

Great blog guys keep up the work..

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big August 4, 2012 at 8:27 pm

wow, please keep writing!

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Chacka January 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm

Your blog is like a drug for me. Can’t get enough.

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Ying Ying S. January 29, 2013 at 12:56 pm

I agree with you Chacka. The only thing I have been doing in my free time since I stumbled into this website yesterday is reading the articles in this blog. It´s simply awesome!

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As June 2, 2013 at 10:49 pm

I am assuming Marius is Mykolas and Paris Berkeley is Barclays Investment Bank?

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Patrick Bateman January 30, 2014 at 8:12 am

Sounds like our good ol’ Mykolas M!

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ranger January 18, 2015 at 4:57 pm

That’s definitely Mykolas from Barclays. I’d be surprised if he’ll manage to land a job in investment banking at all after his so called “career”.

I bet he’s now telling everyone back home about what a big-shot he was here struggling with excel spreadsheets.

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Thomas January 19, 2015 at 2:00 am

Sounds like Mykolas Majauskas, current contender for Mayor of Vilnius, capital of Lithuania. http://majauskas2015.lt/

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Sogne January 19, 2015 at 5:50 am

Considering the comments and the details provided in the text, it looks like it’s a real story and we (Lithuanians) figured this out very easily:))))))))))) A very big thank you for this blog post.

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Francois P January 20, 2015 at 6:36 am

This can be a colleague of mine from Lazard. He turned politician.

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LT January 20, 2015 at 8:16 am

Aaaand now you are famous in [Baltic Country] Media:

http://www.alfa.lt/straipsnis/49791888/mariaus-paslaptis-nuo-akligatvio-tarptautiniame-banke-iki-lietuvos-politikos

Aaaand amongst other candidates running for Mayor in [Baltic Country Capital]

Cheers

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