A Real ibanker: #2 Will Have A Diverse Group Of Friends


Written by: Topics: A Real ibanker

Diversity is beautiful, like a Bond girl. Imagine if you’re social network comprised only of a) Americans, or b) Persians, or c) Indians. I love all three groups but you may soon find yourself beginning to a) put on a few extra pounds super sizing meals, or b) dress in black and wear slicked-back hair , or c) worship Aamir Khan to excess.

Nothing wrong with any of the above but having a mixed group of friends makes life so much more interesting. Who wouldn’t want to sit at a dinner table with the following people: an American ER doctor; Dutch starving artist; English waiter; Indian columnist; French aid worker; Japanese graphic designer; Lebanese private banker; Swiss filmmaker; Austrian ski instructor; Kenyan violinist. It’s an interesting table whichever way you switch around the nationalities and vocations.

Bankers absolute cherish the whole diversity phenomenon. After all, one of their chief efforts on the social, self-marketing front is convincing just about everyone that not only are they superhuman financiers but that, despite the rigors of the job, they still maintain a healthy work-life balance and are quite cultured as can be demonstrated by their friends. Consequently a banker will jump at the occasion to show off ‘special’ friends to fellow bankers.


Banker’s phone rings. He answers.

Banker: “Hi John.”
John (another banker): “Hi Banker, how are you?”
Banker: “Not bad, I’m just having coffee with Kesha. He’s a Mongolian art dealer.”
John: “What???”
Banker: (smiling to himself) “A Mongolia art dealer.”
John: “Sweet! I need to add an art dealer to my circle.”

See, a banker is intelligent enough to know that it’s very convenient to only hang out with like-minded, bonus-starved felines. So he or she will go the extra mile to show the world how mixed his social circle actually is.

There are two main reasons why a banker embraces diversity and the first one was implied above: give off the image of being an individual whose curiosity can only be tickled by variety.

The second, much more important, reason is predicated on psychology, in general, and the belief that happiness is relative, in particular. The idea is that happiness partly depends on your surroundings and environment, including the people you hang out with. For instance, you tend to feel happy being surrounded by people who can enjoy the same things you can. However, if you are someone who works hard all day, six days a week only to make ends meet then you may not be as happy hanging out – whenever you have time off - with trust fund millionaires who never work and enjoy a life of ultra luxury; as opposed to spending time with people like you who have to work hard to get by.

So the logic is that by chilling with people within your category - whatever ‘category’ means – then you’ll be at ease and generally happy. But bankers are complicated people. General happiness won’t suffice. They like structured happiness just as they like structured products. They yearn for jolts of happiness. The answer is diversity.

Accordingly bankers feel really happy when sharing a drink or meal with their buddy the sculptor, writer, aid worker or personal trainer. Why? Because they’ve got more money than them. And having more money makes them happy to have more of something than others.

This is one of the first lessons you’re taught during graduate training: make friends with people who earn less so you can be happy about your job and realise that it is in fact a blessing it was offered to you in the first place.

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